News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I love having hate sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
