you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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