Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will be naked everywhere
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
