It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need moral support for this bender
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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