Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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