I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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