no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize