During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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