dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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