I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
