Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize