arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
