You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
