how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize