dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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