You made me cry and you don't even care
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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