I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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