i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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