never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
