Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
