I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
