I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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