He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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