I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
