i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
