I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
