Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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