I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
