well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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