who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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