I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just high enough for therapy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
