once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
