Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
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I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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