i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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