you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
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it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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