mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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