i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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