you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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