i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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