There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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