Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize