Can i not drive my cunt home
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
