The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
