You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
