Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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