I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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