KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
