I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
