the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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