Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
