Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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