dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
