Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
