Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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