another moral hangover. fuck.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
