I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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