Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
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...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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