it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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