i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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