So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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