hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude i'm inner monologue high
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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