you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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